one can overcome depression and anxiety
depression and anxiety
A mental health disorder characterised by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life.
once I was suffering from depression and I overcame it without any medicines.
I am not going to provide you with any tricks to overcome it because there areno formulas. What worked for me might not work for you, but I can assure you that you will be out of it. I am just going to share my experience of how I dealt with it and this might give you some strength to fight out of depression. If I can, then even you can.
Not a lot of people in my life know about this phase in my life. But, today if I go anonymous, I will be strengthening the social stigma associated with depression and I do not want to contribute to it. I am not ashamed of it. Six years back, I was a Class 11th student and it was a hard time for me coping up with the environment of a new school and the academics. I was brilliant academically, but some how I was unable to perform well in academics.
I failed in subjects, and to escape the pain of failure, I did something more horrible- I changed the subject I failed in, but that hardly made any difference, I still failed. The failure came to me as a shock who never flunked in any subject in her life. The time passed by, my family, friends and teachers became more and more disappointed with me because it was hard for them to believe my inability to perform. But nobody wanted to know the reason for under performance, they just were unhappy and I could see people lose faith in me. I was giving my 100% but still was unable to give my best.
At this point of time in life, when I was 17, I was mentally fragile. I just lived with my mother. My father just shifted to another city for work six months back, and my both sisters started living in hostel just some 10 months back. This meant I was completely alone and my mother was herself mentally disturbed since my father left. She did not pay attention to me. The responsibilities shifted on me. I did most of the work my dad did at home. Definitely my sisters used to come frequently but after all they left for studies.
I was humiliated by my teachers for performing horribly and I was taunted that it would have been better I would have taken up commerce. I had close friends but never th.ought they would understand. Hormonal changes were in full swing. I looked ugly to myself. My friends were getting proposals and I was sitting here breaking my loved ones expectations. I started isolated myself from socializing and any kind of entertainment as I thought it was responsible for the pain I am going through.
Few months passed, one day I was called by my teacher, he shouted at me holding my examination sheet. He straight away crossed out 5 questions of 5 marks each and I was terrorized by that feeling may be I have to repeat the year. While going back home, I was at war with my mind that how can I not perform? You are the same girl who topped her school in Class 10 Th. Your picture was published in newspaper for excellence in academics. I stopped studying after that day not as a part of protest. My mind had blanked out. I had sleepless nights. One day, I woke up and guess what happened?
I was unable to recognize myself. I had forgotten who I was. Trust me, I did not know who I was in whose body.I did not remember anything. I did not remember anyone.
How horrible it was. I don’t have words
I went to my mother crying and tried explaining. She got more scared as she believed someone has performed occult on me.(Typical Indian mother).
I was sad, isolated, lost, distracted, confused, scared, vulnerable, weak, skeptical. I thought this will consume me, and I am going to die soon. I hated my mind and body. I wanted a new body and a new mind- that means I wanted to die. It is so painful going through depression and even you want to come out of it but you are unable to move. The times, I found myself sitting alone in some corner. I can’t tell you how many times during that time I tried killing myself. I thought dying would be better than living like a vegetable matter.
I was suffering from depression. It is important because by ignoring it, you are inviting a bigger issue for future.
Back then, I had no source of internet to make myself feel better that yes there are lot other people suffering like me.
The saddest part is the social stigma associated with it. You are so scared of reaching out to people that what will he/she think that I am nuts. You think that i will be tagged a psycho But folks, depression is as common and okay as a headache, stomach ache or a fever. It just needs to be diagnosed. I know the stigma is so deep rooted that can prefer dying by taking some medical help. My family was a victim of this stigma. Some of them even told me I am suffering from attention deficiency syndrome(Like, seriously). I was seeking attention and nothing else. I begged them to take me to psychiatrist( I was trying to help my self), but they could not believe that their daughter could ever suffer from mental illness. So what they did?
They took me to a general physician and presented my issue differently. I still remember I was looking at the doctor as if Shut up! bitch . She gave me some sleeping pills and sleeping pills make depression worse. It made my condition worse, I was just drowsy and still in the same situation. People used to come, sympathize and make fun at my back.
Meanwhile, I do acknowledge my mother and my sisters were giving their best to cheer me up and pull me out of it. But, I was not coming out of it. I had my exams going on, in that condition I gave my exams.
One day, I just realized that there is only one person who can drag me out of this isMe. I have to help myself now or else I am going to stay here forever. You have to realize that medicines, family and friends can help you to an extent, rest lie in your hands- Self Help. The biggest help will be from your own side. So, what I did:
Threw away the medicines, it was doing more harm than good.
I accepted that I am going through depression rather than being ashamed of myself. Acceptance.
What landed you here, what issues need attention, what fears you ?
You are a human being. Deal yourself with sensitivity. Everything is part and parcel of life; if unable to achieve something, don’t panic, it is okay you gave your best. There are ample of opportunities waiting for you. I accepted that it is okay not to perform good and score bundle of marks. Marks don’t define me.
Anything that costs you peace of mind are snapped out. You have to live this life and you know it better. Sanity of mind is more important than anything else.
Stop ruminating on every thing, you have to ignore somethings to lead a healthy life.
Meet your friends, hang out. Inculcate some kind of physical activity in your schedule. Basic motto: Keep your self busy, give no time to your brain to think anything negative.
The last thing is the most important: Your mental health is as important as your physical health. Take care of both of them equally. If you are not healthy mentally, you can never be healthy physically. Love and believe yourself, rest everything will fall in place.
So, what happened after I followed this:
I overcame the feeling gradually in three four months. ( not an overnight development). Give it time.
I scored 65% in class 11th and I lived my life further on.
And today, I am perfectly fine and may be I am not at as good places as my fellow classmates who scored well but trust me, I successful from my mind and heart and that is what is needed to live a good life 🙂